Self-Esteem Dodge

Xiao Ming — buck teeth, little yellow cap, red scarf — stands at the left of the classroom. You control the self-esteem floating above him: drag anywhere on screen, or use the mouse or arrow keys on desktop. The mean teacher on the right zips up and down, mouth flapping, spitting words that fly at you. Red words (criticism, insults) shrink your self-esteem, and when there is nothing left to shrink it shatters. Yellow words (it'll do) give you a one-hit shield. Green words (well done) grow it, up to five sizes — but the bigger it is, the easier it is to hit. Twelve grades, three exam bosses. Primary school promotes you every 20 seconds; middle and high school every 30. Each stage ends in a boss fight — the middle-school entrance exam, the high-school entrance exam, and the gaokao — and surviving one is worth +1 self-esteem. Pass the gaokao and you ascend into the clouds. The later it gets, the more elaborate the teacher's material: five-way parallel volleys, sentences too long to dodge sideways, enormous slow words, spinning words, words that turn mid-flight, words that pulse between huge and tiny, words that drift up and down. Giant telegraphed attacks scream across with a one to two second warning band. Records your survival time, the grade you reached and whether you graduated, and — signed in — tells you the share of players you beat and how few of them ever made it out. English and 中文, switchable on the title screen. Landscape only; portrait phones are asked to rotate. All art and sound are procedural: no image or audio assets.